If I Never Knew You
by MeganKoumori
Summary: Separation. Heartbreak. Was it all worth it in the end?


Bo sat on the desk in front of Mom's computer in the den. Andy's hand-me-down computer in the bedroom was too slow to run videos. Besides, Buzz and Rex had already called dibs on a game.

She watched the half done animation play in front of her. "This is so lovely," she commented. "Why would they cut this?"

Sprawled out on the desk beside her was Woody, hat tipped over his eyes as though he were sleeping. His fingers were laced through her tiny ones. "Go figure movie execs," he said. "Some three-year-old in a prescreening drops his binky and the next thing you know they're taking scissors to the movie like it's a paper snowflake."

"Well, I think it's a shame. It's such a beautiful song." As she continued to watch, she began to quietly sing along. _"If I never knew you...If I never felt this love...I would have no inkling of...How precious life can be..."_

Woody lifted his hat. He chuckled.

"What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing," he sat up. "You have such a pretty voice."

Bo blushed. "Stop it."

"You know Jessie sets up karaoke night once a month," he continued. "Why don't you ever get up and sing?"

"Oh now you're just being ridiculous."

The Cowboy scooted closer to her. "Am I?" She didn't answer. "C'mon, if we can all sit through Hamm's attempts at rap, then you would have no problems. Actually I think you'd be a big hit."

"Oh really?" she gave him a smirk. "Then why don't you participate? I don't ever hear you on karaoke night and I know you can sing."

"Yeah but not well," he replied. "Not like you."

They watched the video for a few moments. _"I can't leave you..."_

 _"You never will. No matter what happens to me, I'll always be with you. Forever."_

"Tell you what," said Bo. "I'll sing when you sing. Deal?"

"Deal." Bo smiled and flicked back his hat to reveal the top of his head. She planted a kiss on the top of his hair swirl. The video ended and Bo chose another one. Woody slung an arm around her. She leaned in, snuggling on his vest, and they watched together.

* * *

TWO MONTHS LATER:

Woody looked up at the ticking clock in Andy's room. He stared at it intently. "Are you gonna fold or what?" The Cowboy didn't answer. "Hey Sherriff! The name of the game is poker!" Potato Head shouted. "Are you in or out?"

Woody startled. The semi circle of toys, each holding their own hand of cards, stared at him. "What? Oh! Oh sorry! Yeah, yeah, I'm out." He only had a pair of threes anyway and he knew by the way Jessie was wiggling and giggling that she had something big.

Throwing his cards into the pile, he stood and stretched. Rubbing his neck, he looked at the clock again.

Buzz was the first to notice. "Woody, is something wrong?"

"It's almost noon on a Saturday."

"Big deal," said Potato Head. He put down his cards. "Flush!"

Jessie threw her cards down, sending them scattering. "Four of a kind Kings, kicker Ace! I win! I win!"

 _"What?_ Lemme see those cards!"

Woody paid no mind to Jessie's fanny shaking celebration or Potato Head's protests. "So why hasn't Bo come over yet? The family's gone out. She'd usually be here by now."

"She doesn't actually live in this room you know," Potato Head said crossly.

Buzz stood up. "Do you think she's ill?"

Woody rubbed his chin. "Hmm, I dunno but I'm going to find out. I'll be back in a little bit."

* * *

Something was wrong. The Cowboy could feel it. Molly's room was never a hullabaloo of activity like Andy's but it was never this deathly quiet either.

As he stepped inside, he felt eyes on him. Molly's toys were staring. Some were whispering. He frowned.

A few toys were huddled together by the dresser. They kept shooting glances at him. As he approached, he noticed Barbie pull away from the group. "Cowards," she admonished. As she headed toward Woody, he was startled to see her blue eyes were full of sorrow.

"I'm so sorry, Woody. We didn't know how to tell you..."

"Tell me what? What is going on around here? Where is Bo?"

Barbie didn't answer but just threw an almost tearful look over his shoulder. He turned to see what she was looking at. The nightstand. He froze.

Bo's lamp was gone.

"W-where's Bo's lamp?"

Barbie just shook her head. "It happened this morning..."

 _"What happened? Where is she?"_

"Mom took her. She's...she's gone, Woody."

The words reached his ears but they didn't make sense. "She can't...No, no. It's not yard sale day. It's not possible..."

"It wasn't a yard sale! She came in at seven o'clock this morning! She said she had a friend who's having a baby and...and..."

Woody felt as though he had been sucker punched in the heart. He suddenly grasped Barbie by the shoulders. "Did she say who?" he demanded. He was almost shouting but he didn't care.

"Woody..."

 _"Did she say who?"_

"No! All she said was a friend!"

Woody let go of the slender plastic figurine and began to race towards the door. "I'm sorry!"

* * *

Woody tore into Andy's bedroom in a panic. _"Buzz! Buzz!"_

Buzz stood up from the card game. "Woody, what's..." Before he could even finish his sentence, the Cowboy was in front of him, grabbing him by the shoulders.

 _"She's gone!"_

"Bo?"

"What?"

"But it's not yard sale day!"

"What happened?"

Woody had begun to pace in a frenzy. _"Mom gave her away to some friend! We-we gotta launch a rescue mission immediately!"_

"What friend?"

 _"I don't know. We gotta find her, gotta bring her back..."_

"Slow down! Where does this friend live?"

 _"I don't know..."_

"Do you know anything?" Buzz asked.

Woody stepped back. His fellow toys were staring at him with wide, shocked eyes but none of them were moving. _"What are you all standing around for? We have to go! We have to find her!"_

"Woody!"

 _"We have to go!"_

Buzz grabbed Woody by the vest and for a moment every other toy thought that the Ranger was going to slap him. Instead he shouted, "Snap out of it! Pull yourself together!"

Woody wrenched out of his grasp. Shaking he took a step backwards.

"Woody," Buzz said in a gentler tone. "I'm sorry. There's nothing we can do. If we only had more information then maybe..."

Woody took another backwards step. And another. He didn't stop until he was at the door and out of it.

Buzz clenched his fists and closed his eyes. "I'm so sorry, my friend..."

* * *

It was nearly 3 AM. Woody was curled up on the Davis's old green couch. _This is the spot where I told her I loved her for the first time,_ he thought miserably. _It's where I first...showed her how I felt._ Unconsciously he hugged himself as he replayed that evening in his mind.

 _I'll never...get to touch her again. I'll never hear her laugh or hold her hand or..._ He buried his face in the sofa cushion.

 _If Mom had never had that baby shower...If she had never gotten that lamp..._ He sat up. Outside the window he could see an entire canopy of stars painting the black night sky. He stood and hopped off the couch.

Climbing to the windowsill, he pressed himself to the glass, searching for the brightest star. _If I find it, should I make a wish? Is that too stupid? I'm not exactly a child..._

No, he decided. Even if it was stupid, he was going to wish anyway.

There it was. He was no astronomer but he knew from Buzz's countless lectures that what he was looking at was, in fact, the North Star. The perfect star to make a wish.

Woody pressed his toy hand to the window pane. What should he wish for?

He could wish that the past nine years had never happened. He could wish for Bo to come home. But closing his eyes, he knew exactly what he was going to say in his broken heart.

 _I wish...that wherever you are, Bo...that no matter what...you're happy...Even if you're not happy with me...Be happy..._

Opening his eyes, he wiped them on the back of his cuff. His voice cracked as he whispered, _"And I'm so grateful to you...I'd have lived my whole life through..."_

* * *

IN ANOTHER PART OF TOWN:

Bo sat by her new window staring up at the night. _"Empty as the sky...Never knowing why..."_

* * *

 _"Lost Forever..._

 _If I Never Knew You..."_


End file.
